The Process
My client’s emotionally based struggles fit onto two sides of the same coin. The first is a direct struggle with negative emotion, such as fear and anxiety, sadness and grief, anger and rage, worthlessness, shame, and feelings of isolation and powerlessness. Then there are the behavioral dynamics that are created when our struggling cores are pressured in the face of challenge, driving us to be a part of life in ways that tend to nurture distance and conflict instead of connection and flow. This can lead to compulsive disorders, issues with your body, money, people, your job, etc. Some of my clients come in with focused issues, such as panic attacks or with the consequences that come with sexual violation. Others have more vague challenges where they’re simply unhappy and parts of their lives aren’t working, but they don’t understand why.
The process of core healing always begins internally and then needs to be extended into your on-the-ground life. For example, if you’re struggling with chronic anxiety, you need to heal internally so you can start to regain the ability to feel safe at a core level. Then you need to apply this building strength in your on-the-ground life so you can learn to actualize feeling safe with being safe in a world full of challenges and hazards. This inside to outside process builds a positive feedback loop where my clients are able to progressively heal and empower themselves as they work deeper and deeper towards the challenges that sit at the heart of what they want to accomplish with their work.
Many things surprise my clients about this work. First, they tend to be stunned at how torn up they actually are at such a deep level once they start waking up to and engaging with their cores. Then, once they start healing, they’re taken aback by what this work can do to help them reclaim a state of strength and solidity that they usually don’t even imagine is possible. It tends to shock clients when I tell them that they can overcome and resolve such large challenges as panic attacks, depression, compulsive disorders, etc. because it tends to be common knowledge that this simply isn’t possible. It takes time and focused work, but my career has clearly shown how possible these results are.
Testimonials
‘Working with Doug gave me the structure, support, and accountability to fundamentally change how I move through the world. Fear and shame used to dominate how I met the outside world, as a shy, oddball gay man who never felt at home anywhere, and I spent too many years hiding myself and trying to convince people I was who I thought they wanted me to be. This was harming all aspects of my life. Doug helped me go deep into the core wounds that drove these hiding behaviors and discover a different way to show up as myself. This journey was often scary and confusing, constantly resisted by my own wounded experience, but Doug’s insights, energy, and defiant commitment to the process held me accountable to my own strengths and helped me discern my path to real change. Now, the differences I used to disguise are what I confidently offer the world and my relationships, art, and life are as daring, adventurous, and open to possibility as I ever hoped. I’m incredibly grateful to Doug and the tradition he works within for insisting on real healing and real wellbeing.’—TM
‘I just wanted to take this moment to thank you, deeply and sincerely, for all you have given me over these past few years. Of course, there are the specific ‘crunches’ you helped me to navigate through- from [healing through my fear so I could] get married (thank you ‘Songs of Love’) to [healing through my fear and terror so I could] go through knee surgery and 1,000 other things in between. But what I’ve gained from our work together goes beyond the sum total of these things. I have gained an inner knowledge of myself and have grown tremendously throughout.’—MS